Tonight at work I challenged Joshua, one of my "stockboys" (or "stockguys" as they usually prefer to be called) to a drinking challenge. This time Monster was the beverage of choice and we each got one of the XXL cans. Now to shed a little light on this, on Tuesday, I chose Enviga, a rather wretched carbonated drink that allegedly burns fat and "tastes great." As far as I know, it doesn't live up to either claim. Josh thought it tasted so bad that he gave up and I won out. Tonight though..... I lost, big time.
I came out of the gate, chugging like an alcholic and polished off half of the energy drink when I suddenly felt a sharp pressure in my abdomen. Ignoring it, I started chugging more of the highly carbonated drink. Josh in the meantime was taking his time and watching me intently, because apparently he knew that something like this might happen. To make a long situation short, the carbonation built up into a painful gas bubble inside my guts. I felt like someone was stabbing the hell out of me with a machete, right through my midsection.
I gave up trying to drink and attempted to work the gas out and maybe deliver a world class burp or fart. Instead, I ended up kneeling over a garbage can for two minutes before puking up my dinner and the deadly Monster Energy drink I had consumed. Needless to say I felt a hell of a lot better after exorcising that devil drink from my body. So with this little life lesson, I've learned that chugging Monster can lead to some pretty painful consequences. So kids, don't be like me! Learn from my mistakes! Make something of yourselves! And don't chug Monster too fast or you'll explode!
Oh and just to add insult to injury, I had one more gulp left in the can before I vomited.... so close, yet so far. ;-)
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