Monday, February 23, 2009

My thoughts on Street Fighter IV and future updates at the Vault.

Ok first off, "Street Fighter IV:" It is a beautiful game to behold, especially on an HDTV. The characters look incredible, there's a lot of neat stuff going on in the background as you are trying to beat someone into dust, and the music is great. All the old favorites are back (Chun Li, E. Honda, Blanca, Zangief, Guile, Ryu, Ken, etc.) plus a few new faces make the cut in the list of fighters you can choose from. At first glance, this is a great game.....

Then you play it and soon realize that the combos that everyone boasts about are incredibly hard to pull off (especially the Super and Ultra combos), and that each fight quickly degenerates into "button-mashing." (My f*cking thumbs hurt!) Heck, even performing special moves like Ken and Ryu's Hadoken is a challenge here. Usually I end up doing a Shoryuken instead, which leaves you completely open for attack if you miss.

Then there's the part in the Arcade Mode where you take on your RIVAL (e.g. Ryu and Sagat, Ken and some fat-ass named Rufus). The difficulty during a match with your arch-rival is friggin' ridiculous! I played the game on Very Easy with RYU, just to try and get a feel for the controls. When I had my showdown with Sagat, I slowly but surely began to get pissed off. I had to redo the match FOUR times before I took that bald bitch down! I realize that these guys are rivals and that Sagat would probably put up a tougher fight than most contenders, but c'mon Capcom, this is bullshit!

And then there's "Seth," this bionic, humanoid sumbitch that has the special abilities of every fighter in the game. In your first match, you will probably sweep the floor with him and think "Heh, that was too easy. This guy is a cinch to beat!" Then the blue bastard gets up and unleashes an arsenal of jaw-dropping combos that you are helpless against. I had to redo this battle multiple times as well, and remember, this is with the game on VERY EASY. (There is an even wussier difficulty setting called EASIEST, but I haven't resorted to utilizing that yet.)

Granted I haven't played a fighting game since......... uh..... "Mortal Kombat" for the Gamecube (I think), so I'm really rusty at these types of games. But truthfully, that's only part of the problem. The big one is with the controls. Your character moves fluently enough, and the response to what buttons your hitting is perfectly fine. It's just that the special moves and combos are so hard to pull off, which becomes ten times more frustrating when your opponent is hitting you with brutal combos every ten seconds or so.

Overall, this is a great game and a perfect addition to the "Street Fighter" series, I just wish it was easier to make your fighter do all the cool stuff he or she is supposed to.

When I turn my X-BOX 360 on later (once my blood stops boiling) I'm probably going to go into training mode and see if I can get the hang of all these pesky moves.

Before I move on to anything else, here's a few extra things about the game I want to tell you:
1. Chun-Li has HUGE f*cking hands! They are monstrously disproportionate to her small feminine body.... and is it me or are her thighs ridiculously thick and muscular too?

2. Rufus is a piece of shit. I hate fighting this tub of lard, especially with Ken (mainly because they are rivals). This guy has some of the most devastating combos I've witnessed in any game, but I guess that's to make up for his monstrous case of obesity.

3. Seth seems like a rip-off of Cell from Dragonball Z and is infuriating to fight. As I stated before, he goes easy on you (sort of) during the first match, then goes balls to the wall after that, assailing you with so many devastating attacks that you begin to wonder why you even bought this game.

Yeah I probably just really suck at "Street Fighter IV" and refuse to admit it, but c'mon, I don't recall Street Fighter II ever being this difficult!

Moving on then....

I'm going to be doing some work on the Vault tonight. I didn't really mean to take so long between updates, but it just sort of happened. Sometimes, I would just rather sit and enjoy movies instead of writing about them, but thankfully, I'm ready to get back on track. Expect last week's AND this week's Genre Watch to be posted SOON, along with a capsule review for "Friday the 13th" (2009)!

Blog ya later b-movie (and Street Fighter) fans!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A quick update on things.

Hey all. I played paintball on Sunday and it took a lot out of me, so I didn't get around to writing up any new material for the Vault... yet! Expect this week's Genre Watch (which will be a short and dismal little article, as this is a pretty lousy week for genre releases) and a capsule review for the reboot/remake/reimagining of "Friday the 13th" in the very near future!
Blog ya later!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

BMFV Genre Watch: February 8th - 14th!

It's a few days late, but that doesn't mean that it is not worth checking out. This week's Genre Watch entry features a solid slate of DVD and Blu-ray releases, as well as the theatrical premiere of "Friday the 13th." Here's hoping that this all new Jason Voorhees adventure will breathe some life back into ye olde "Friday" franchise which has suffered horribly since 1989's "Jason Takes Manhattan."

Here are some of the cool DVDs and Blu-ray discs you can buy or rent this week:

Against the Dark (Steven Seagal vs. Vampires!)
Back the the Future I, II, & III (Sold seperately for the first time! Great scott!)
Chocolate (Autistic girl kicks the crap out of the Yakuza!)
Dragon Ball Z: Season 8 (KA-ME-HA-ME-HA!)
My Name is Bruce (Don't call him "Ash!")
Street Fighter: The Movie - Extreme Edition (Universal's vain attempt to make its money back on this video-game based shitfest.)

Check back next week for a depressingly short Genre Watch, and stay tuned for more new reviews!

Monday, February 9, 2009

The "Godmonster of Indian Flats" gets hogtied at the Vault!

Three months ago, readers and visitors alike chose "Godmonster of Indian Flats" in the second Torture the Vault Master poll. For those of you who picked this cinematic atrocity I hereby curse you! While it wasn't the worst thing I've ever witnessed, it was pretty damn bad and I definitely suffered through it. But was it bad enough? Hell no! I can take worse abuse, and you'll get your chance to dish out more in the third "Torture the Vault Master Poll." (Which may become a quarterly tradition if it gains in popularity.)

Here is the trailer for this awful cinematic atrocity:

Expect my old (and updated) review for "Army of Darkness" to pop up on the site tomorrow night, along with a new edition of the BMFV's weekly Genre Watch!

And just so you know: "My Name is Bruce" and "Chocolate" hit DVD and Blu-ray tomorrow! Woohoo!

UPDATE: "Army of Darkness" and this week's Genre Watch have been delayed by my intense urge to watch a Friday the 13th movie. Expect that stuff to pop up on the site very soon!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Obscure kaiju stars in American commercial + Future Vault updates.

Out of all the Japanese movie monsters, how is it that Guilala ("The X From Outer Space") gets a starring role in an American commercial? I guess his agent wanted a lot less than Godzilla's. Check out this cute, kaiju-filled commercial for

In regards to upcoming updates at The Vault:
I haven't had time to dig into my review for "Godmonster of Indian Flats" (blame my girlfriend and her Season One boxed set of "24"), but I should be able to start chipping away at it tomorrow night. Look for that on (hopefully) Monday, along with another edition of Genre Watch!

If I am not too exhausted after all of that, I may even toss up a refurbished old review of "Army of Darkness," OR finally finish up that long-ago mentioned "WANTED ON DVD" page. It will all come down to how much energy I have at the end of the day.

Oh and for those of you who give a damn, I am now on Facebook! And no, I do not, and never will have a MySpace. I swear to the Gods of b-moviedom on that!

G'night b-movie fans; I'll blog ya later!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

BMFV Genre Watch: February 1st - 7th!

This week's Genre Watch post is a go! There's a good number of cult genre releases hitting retail shelves and theaters this week, and is definitely a great start for the month of February. Here are some of the flicks you can look forward to seeing (or buying) this week:

On DVD & Blu-ray:
Friday the 13th Uncut (Deluxe Edition)
Friday the 13th Part 2 (Deluxe Edition)
Friday the 13th Part 3D (Deluxe Edition w/ two pairs of 3D glasses!)
His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th
Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XIV

Newest theatrical releases:
Pink Panther 2 (please don't go see this!)

G'night everybody; expect another new update at the Vault very soon!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Vault stats: January 2009

January 2009 was one of, if not the best, month the Vault has had since moving to its own domain in December of 2006! This is probably due in part to the release of "My Bloody Valentine 3D" in theaters, and also because I've been putting a lot of work into the site over the past two weeks. Here's how the Vault did last month:

Unique Visitors: 7,134
Number of Visits: 12,249 (an average of 1.7 visits per visitor)
Number of Pages Viewed: 47,317 pages (an average of 3.6 pages per visitor)
Total Number of Hits for Jan. 2009: 145,154 hits!

Along with the big boost in traffic is the huge boost in Bandwidth usage. The Vault used over 4 GIGS of bandwidth last month, which is about a seventh of the bandwidth I am allocated each month. At this rate, I'll probably have to toss out some more cash for higher bandwidth before the year is through!

Top 5 Countries that Vault visitors hailed from:
1. The United States
2. Germany
3. China
4. Canada
5. Great Britain

Top 5 Reviews:
1. My Bloody Valentine (1981)
2. Arena (1989)
3. The Monster Squad (1987)
4. Transformers: The Movie (1986)
5. The Fog (1980)

Just ONE hit beneath "The Fog" was my capsule review for "My Bloody Valentine 3D." I guess Harry Warden was all the rage last month eh?

Finally, here are the top Five sites that have sent me so much traffic over the past month. Thanks guys!
3. Public Domain Torrents
4. The Daily Grind(house)
5. B-Movie Central

A big thanks to the various other sites, blogs, and forums that have sent me traffic as well, and an even bigger thanks to all of you who have and continue to visit the Vault on a frequent basis. It is good to know that people the world over have come to the Vault and hopefully have both learned a few things about the various b-films I've covered, and have enjoyed the reviews and articles.

Here's to another prosperous month online for the Vault! Stay tuned for more new stuff this week including the latest weekly installment of Genre Watch, plus the long-awaited review of "Godmonster of Indian Flats!"