Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Site updates, new contest, and Hudson Horror Show!

Hey all, its been a while and I sincerely apologize. The last few weeks have been crazy and between coming down with a cold (which is still hanging on despite the best efforts of modern over the counter medication and other remedies), my full-time job, and heading off to Poughkeepsie, NY last weekend for the Hudson Horror Show, I haven't really had time (or the energy) to do much.

But now I'm feeling better, and nothing is really going to be preoccupying my time now that Christmas is mere weeks away, so I plan on getting some reviews typed up (for the Maniac Cop trilogy especially, since I missed doing so last month during the much-touted [by me] MANIAC COP MONTH), maybe a podcast, a few videos/vlogs, as well as an article or two.

And what is wrong with everybody these days? I give away FREE STUFF and almost no one enters to win it? Last month I only had a handful of entries for a brand new MANIAC COP BLU-RAY (won by G.W. Sherwood of Pompano Beach, FL! Congrats sir!) and now this month I'm giving away the entire SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT FRANCHISE ON DVD! (Note: The first two films are OOP and ridiculously expensive, so I'm burning copies of them to complete the set.) And thus far... NO ONE HAS ENTERED!


1.) Like the Vault on Facebook. CLICK HERE to make it so.
2.) Send me an e-mail at with something in the subject line stating your intentions. E.g. - SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT CONTEST.
3.) Along with your name and mailing address you must include a photo of A.) YOU dressed as a killer Santa or B.) YOU being murdered by Santa (can be photoshopped).
4.) Entries must be in by Christmas Eve. Winner will be selected on Christmas Day. You should have ALL FIVE SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT films before 2011 ends!

So seriously, ENTER NOW folks! Its an easy contest and the prize is well worth it!

Enter or else HE will find you!

Finally, before I head off to work today, I have to tell you about how awesome the Hudson Horror Show was. I'm in the process of typing up a full article about my adventures there but I want to at preface that here by saying that this film fest was amazing. It was well-organized, had some cool vendors, and the crowd was fantastic.

Aside from a couple drunks, everyone was polite and not too rowdy, and we all totally dug the trailers and films being projected onto the big screen. There were a few filmstrip snafus but the projectionist got the problem fixed ASAP and yours truly finally got to see a legit, classic Godzilla film on the big screen, AND flex my useless kaiju knowledge muscles in a quick giveaway! I had a blast and I'm definitely going back next Spring!

Well that's all the news that's fit to print; I gotta run. Check out the Vault over the next few days and good luck with your Christmas shopping. (There's only what... sixteen shopping days left until Christmas arrives?) Blog ya later!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Yes, you read that correctly, you can win a brand new Synapse Films' Blu-ray of MANIAC COP from yours truly. How do you win? Well, first of all LIKE THE VAULT OVER AT FACEBOOK! Then watch the videos below to get full details on winning the Blu-ray:

Look for a new full-length review for MANIAC COP at the Vault this weekend and expect more updates and videos as well!

Friday, November 11, 2011

The 4th Annual Hudson Horror Show is coming!

For those of you living in or around the Poughkeepsie, NY area, I am extremely jealous. On December 3rd (a mere three weeks away) you get the chance to celebrate the Horror genre in style at the HUDSON HORROR SHOW IV!

The event kicks off at high noon with a six-film marathon featuring 35MM prints of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, THE BEYOND, ROLLING THUNDER, THE WEREWOLF VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMAN, and... a SECRET SIXTH FEATURE FILM! Amidst the films there will be vintage drive-in style trailers and there will also be various vendors peddling their wares (shirts, DVDs, collectibles, etc.) so bring some extra cash!

I'm definitely thinking of attending this event (requested that Saturday and following Sunday off from work just in case) and urge all of you reading this to do the same if possible! Remember folks, the show's on Saturday, December 3rd at Noon! Advance tickets are $26; tickets at the door are $30.00. This will all take place at the SILVER CINEMAS at the SOUTH HILL MALL, and don't b*tch about the price because you are getting SIX movies for your cash plus a night full of memories that will last you a lifetime. Mark that weekend on your calendars and maybe, just maybe, I'll see some of you there!

Wait what? You're not familiar with some (or God help you, ALL) of the films in the lineup? Well here's a promotional trailer for the show, that'll give you a taste of the awesomeness you can expect:


Since I've been remiss to pass on the Underbelly goodness that I enjoy (for the last month and half or so) here are the last four videos posted by these brave and funny souls including in no particular order: Their Halloween episode where trick-or-treaters get candy at the homes of several video game characters, their coverage of the latest NY COMIC-CON, their visit to a book-signing for Maddox's "I'm Better Than Your Kids," and finally a brand-spanking new video kicking off "Zelda Month" that has a wonderfully shocking (and romantical) ending. Check 'em all out below!

Stay tuned for new stuff everyone because November is MANIAC COP MONTH at the Vault! Expect reviews for all three films in the franchise, PLUS enter to win a BRAND NEW Maniac Cop Blu-ray (details on the Vault's main page). Also I have some news coming up about several cool events, and I'll be posting more videos on Youtube as well. It's gonna be a busy month so stick around b-movie fans!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Thoughts on film piracy + legit PIRANHA 3DD teaser!

As I was scouring the web earlier tonight, I came across two interesting things. First off, an article over at FREDDY IN SPACE concerning illegal downloading caught my eye. (READ IT!)  John makes some good points and touches upon all the excuses that many folks use to rationalize what they are doing. Downloading a film for free (whether it be a shitty bootleg of a recently released Hollywood film that was shot with a camcorder, or a DVD rip) is wrong, plain and simple.

Now yours truly is no angel as I have dabbled in piracy myself, but I stay in the "gray" areas and focus my efforts on downloading obscure, rare, and out of print movies that I cannot simply purchase at a store, online or otherwise. That still doesn't make it right, but in some cases, it is the only option I have. I see it as the equivalent of  buying a homemade DVD-R, that contains a VHS-rip of some obscure 80's horror flick that has long been out of print. So for any of you high and mighty "I never illegally download anything" folks who pick up fan-made DVD-Rs online and at conventions, well... you are technically pirates as well.

Anyway, the second thing that prompted me to share some thoughts and opinions on this matter was the new short that "Hatchet" director Adam Green created. It's a funny (and gory) PSA talking about the inherent dangers of illegally downloading films off the web. Give it a look; it's great!

Piracy is nothing new, especially on the web, and I doubt anyone really thinks about the possible repercussions. No, not the repercussions that you'll suffer if you get caught (fines and threats of actual jail time), but the ones that affect the film makers, actors, special f/x teams, and all those involved in creating the movies you decided you just had to watch for free. Yeah, I'm getting preachy, but it bugs me, especially when guys like Eli Craig (director of "Tucker & Dale vs. Evil") discover their movie has leaked out onto the web long before they were able to find a distributor. That's not cool.

Film piracy is chugging along with no end in sight (unless Net Neutrality ends and/or laws are passed that will block certain sites from the American public) and studios are fighting a seemingly impossible battle against the army of digital buccaneers that are plundering their film libraries. So how should the powers that be in Hollywood fight back? Should harsher consequences be implemented for those that are caught? Should a privatized web-police force be set up to go after illegal downloaders? Ummm.... NO.

Submitted for your approval, here are a few ideas I have that will not only help Hollywood battle online piracy, but will also benefit us consumers too.

If it's one thing I've noticed, it is that movie budgets are becoming pretty damned ridiculous these days. Here's a word of advice to all the big studios in Hollywood: Scale back your production costs! And while you're at it, stop spending so much damned money on advertising!  If a film cost $20 million to make, don't attach another $20 million dollars in advertising fees to it! Now the movie will have to make back MORE than double its budget for you to see a profit!

If studios manage to get their crazy spending under control, the savings will eventually trickle down to consumers. Theater ticket prices (and maybe even concession prices) will go down, and the cost of a brand new DVD or Blu-ray on their initial release days may drop as well. Making films is a business, therefore studios should cut costs and increase revenue. Now this sounds easy on paper, but I'm sure there's tons of red tape that would make this simple solution next to impossible. Still, think it over Hollywood.

What? Go easy on those that would engage in digital piracy? Are you mad?! Well... no, I don't think so. The voices in my head say I'm perfectly fine. All kidding aside though, studios and the MPAA (who gave them all the power they have anyway?) need to chill out with their hefty fines and whatnot. Instead of charging several thousand dollars because someone has a few movies on their hard drive after visiting The Pirate Bay, why not force the downloader to pay the freakin' cost of a legal digital download or DVD? That way, they have "purchased" the film and can keep it, you turn a small profit, and walk away looking like less of a douchebag.

Who was the moron was that decided that there needed to be a whopping six (seven if you count Region 0) DVD regions in the world? That is just stupid as Hell! It is not fair to consumers when a film is available in a foreign country that is not available here. For that one reason alone, many people download foreign films off the web since they sometimes take months, even years, to reach the United States. Make all discs playable worldwide and piracy will take a hit in the gut.

If I can buy any movie I want, from any country on Earth, without having to own special equipment, that'd be amazing. Some companies already do this (Blue Underground) and it'd be awesome if others would follow suit. Then again... there's probably lots of red tape that would stop this from happening, since multiple distribution firms worldwide probably own the rights to various movies in each region (which is why the U.K. can get a "House" boxed set and us Yanks can't). If everything went to Region 0, I suppose it would most likely put a lot of them out of business. For that reason alone, this will probably never happen, but hey... the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.....

One thing that always brings me back to the seedy world of movie downloading is the fact that there are so many films that are out of print, or just completely unavailable anywhere. Studios need to start going through their vaults, pull out everything they can, and convert them into a digital format. Not only will this help preserve many older, lesser known titles for decades to come (its always good to have a backup copy) but once this task is completed, the films can be sold to curious consumers.

Entire film libraries can then be streamed for a small fee, or downloaded for a bit more money, or customers can pay full price and either receive an actual DVD in the mail, or download a disc ISO and burn it themselves.

Warner Bros. does something like this with its own "burn to order" DVD service, however, the prices are high and the films are burned to DVD-R discs. (Wait a minute.... now studios are bootlegging their own flicks for a profit?!) Its a great idea, but who wants to pay twenty bucks for a DVD-R of "The Green Slime," especially if it's easy to download off the web, and readily available at a vendor's table at a convention? (Totally a rhetorical question by the way.)

To sum up this idea: Make more films available to your customers, keep the pricing reasonable, and make it readily and easily available in a digital format. Get it? Got it? Good!

Now these are just a few ideas that hit me, and its doubtful that any of them would ever be implemented or actually work (#2 and #3 would totally work by the way), but I felt that I had to throw my two cents in after reading what John had to say. If you agree with me, or disagree with me, or have ideas of your own to fight piracy while simultaneously benefiting consumers, be sure to comment below or over at the Vault's Facebook Page.

Finally, before I go to bed, I'd like to let you see the fun teaser trailer for PIRANHA 3DD that was unveiled during yesterday's airing of the SPIKE SCREAM AWARDS. It looks like so much fun, with tons of big ole boobies bouncing around, and lots of killer CGI fish, and.... Ving Rhames with SHOTGUN LEGS! Give it a look, then weep because it has been shelved by those idiots over at Dimension until sometime next year:

Well it's pretty late here in my neck of the woods and my eyes are trying to close without my approval, so I bid you all a good night.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Big Screen News: See Fulci's ZOMBI in theaters this weekend; PIRANHA 3DD delayed til 2012?

Ok, tonight I have good news and bad news regarding some awesome cult films that are hitting the big screen. First up, Lucio Fulci's ZOMBI, which is coming out in a deluxe 2-Disc "Ultimate Edition" Blu-ray from Blue Underground on October 24th (pre-order it HERE), is getting a limited nationwide theatrical release on October 21st and 22nd. (And on other dates, which will be noted on the list below.)

If you live in or near any of the following cities, I envy you. I've seen ZOMBI (a.k.a. Zombie, Zombie Creeping Flesh, Zombi 2) on the big screen once and it was a magical experience.

Here's the list of lucky cities who will get to enjoy the flesh-eating, eye-gouging, and shark-battling insanity of Fulci's most notable film:

Guild Cinema (Oct. 28 & 29)

Plaza Theatre (9:30pm, Oct. 21 only)

Alamo The Ritz (9:30pm, Oct. 24 & 7:00pm, Oct. 31)

Alamo S. Lamar (7:00pm, Oct. 30)

Coolidge Corner Theatre

Music Box Theatre

Capitol Theatre (Oct. 15)

Landmark Inwood Theatre

Landmark Esquire

Landmark Main Art

Landmark River Oaks

5 Points Theatre (11:30pm, Oct. 21 only)

Tivoli Cinemas (9:00pm)

Theatre 7 (7:00pm, Oct. 31)

Liberty Hall (10:00pm, Oct. 21 only)

New Beverly Cinema

The Royale (10:00pm, Oct. 21 & 9:00pm, Oct. 22)

Landmark Uptown (Nov. 4 & 5)

Landmark's Sunshine

Mayfair Theatre (11:30pm, Oct. 21 only)

Landmark Ritz Bourse (10:00pm)

The Oaks Theater (11:59pm, Oct. 21 & 7:00pm, Oct. 22)

Hollywood Theatre (9:30pm)

Crest Theatre

Alamo Westlakes (10:00pm)

Landmark Ken Cinema

Roxie Theater (Various Times, Oct. 29 - 31)

Landmark Egyptian
(Ian McCulloch in person on Oct. 21!)

Hi-Pointe Theatre

The Beach Theatre

The Revue Cinema (Oct. 22 & 31)

The Loft Cinema

Landmark E Street Cinema

Warren Old Town Theater (7:00 & 9:00pm, Oct. 24 & 25)

Alamo Drafthouse Winchester

Park Theatre Cafe (8:00pm, Oct. 13)

Little Art Theatre (9:00pm, Oct. 22 only)

Sigh.... the closest place to me is Philadelphia, but I don't have the money or the time to rush down there this weekend. Well... at least I saw it in a theater once in my lifetime, I guess I should be content with that. CLICK HERE to visit Blue Underground's website and double check to see if they added any other screening locations or changed movie times between now and Friday.

Anyway, the next bit of news is not so joyous. John Gulager's PIRANHA 3DD will not be in theaters next month. Renn Brown over at has reported that the film was unceremoniously yanked from its original release date and shelved by the powers that be at Dimension. While some speculate that they are saving it for a (perhaps) late Spring/early Summer 2012 release (which makes some sense), others say that it will probably go straight to DVD. This sort of bums me out because even though I didn't actually like the previous film, I still had fun watching it, plus I was actually anticipating the sequel, which looks to be completely batshit insane. I want to see Ving Rhames return as a paraplegic with guns for legs dammit!

I'll post more info about the eventual solid release date for PIRANHA 3DD. Here's hoping to see it sooner rather than later.

Help indie film maker complete "CURSE OF THE PHANTOM SHADOW." Watch "KIDS GO TO THE WOODS... KIDS GET DEAD" free for a limited time!

I always do what I can for independent film makers who are either trying to promote their films, or find funding to complete their project. And speaking of which, I received an e-mail today from a one Mark Ross, who is currently working on a retro tribute to pulp heroes and classic serials called CURSE OF THE PHANTOM SHADOW. He has paid for most of the movie out of his own pocket, but he needs just a little more help to complete it. Mark is trying to raise $5,000 to finish his film and needs your help to get there.

Head on over to his Kickstarter page and pledge a dollar or more towards CURSE OF THE PHANTOM SHADOW. You'll need a credit card and you WON'T be charged unless he hits his goal. I know the economy is tough (believe me I know) but will donating a buck really put a dent in your bank account? Also, if you donate more ($25, $50, $100, etc.) you will get listed in the film's credits and get all sorts of cool goodies. I've said all I can, so let Mark and company try to convince you with some footage from their project:

I think it looks pretty damned cool and will gladly pledge some money towards it. And.... there. I pledged $25.00! Good luck Mark; hope you guys pull enough funds together!

Speaking of indie films, the folks behind KIDS GO TO THE WOODS... KIDS GET DEAD are showing their film for free over at their official website (for a limited time). CLICK HERE to watch this shot-on-digital-video Horror flick. If you like what you see, you can buy the DVD (with a bunch of extra features) for $8.99, or download it to keep for $3.99. CLICK HERE to purchase the film and support independent cinema!

Stay tuned for some actual new content at the Vault, and get ready because Halloween is now less than two weeks away! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Halloween Giveaways! Win "The Omen" on Blu-ray or "Basket Case 2" & "Terror in the Aisles" on VHS!

I'm currently having a pair of giveaways at the Vault. Starting today, and ending at midnight EST on Oct. 26th, you can enter to win either a Blu-ray (opened but never watched) of "The Omen," or two VHS tapes (previous rentals hailing from the 80's!) of "Basket Case 2" and "Terror in the Aisles." How do you win either prize? Well, it is actually quite easy!

First, if you are on Facebook CLICK HERE to "like" The B-Movie Film Vault. Go ahead... I'll wait. Huh? You don't have a Facebook, but have a Twitter? Well, shucks, I'm on there too! Follow me:  @BMovieFilmVault!

Now that you've done that, (and hopefully shared my site with a few friends) send me an e-mail at vault_master [at] bmoviefilmvault [dot] com with OMEN BLU-RAY GIVEAWAY and/or HORROR VHS GIVEAWAY in the subject line. In the body of your e-mail, include your name, address, and if you're aiming to have the Blu-ray, include a few sentences describing your favorite scene from the movie.

I will be collecting entries until the end of October 26th, then choose  winners at random, announce their  names, and mail out their prizes ASAP. (The goal here is to have your stuff arrive on Halloween!) So get those entries in now while there is still plenty of time and good luck Horror fans!

Oh... wait... what's THIS? There's another giveaway? Well ... yeah, actually. To help spread the word about my other web project, THE RIFF BROTHERS, I am giving away five DVDs! First place gets TWO riffed films of their choice, our long lost, never-before-seen Halloween Special from last year, and an autographed photo. Two runners up will walk away with copies of our Halloween Special. For full details on how to win, and to see the list of films you can choose from CLICK HERE! Thanks for entering and good luck!

Thursday, October 13, 2011


Halloween will be here in just over two weeks (YAY!) and its time to get in the spooky holiday spirit. Submitted for your approval, here is Underbelly's first Horror-themed video for the month, featuring five of the worst movie monsters to ever grace the silver screen. Check it out!

It warms my heart to see them back in action after the Flood of 2011. Welcome back Underbelly crew!

Next up, here are some awesome deals on Horror flicks from and the awesome folks over at Shout! Factory. Right now on Amazon, you can pick up the "Omen Blu-ray Collection" for a whopping.... $19.99! Four movies, lots of extras, and perfect picture and audio for only twenty bucks! You can't beat that! CLICK HERE to order yourself a copy. C'mon, Halloween's around the corner... TREAT yourself!

Next up, Shout! Factory is selling off bundled DVD and Blu-ray packs of their Roger Corman Cult Classics and Elvira Movie Macabre lines. They have four main deals going right now, the latter of which is super-expensive but damn well worth it. Here are the offers with prices; click on the links for more info!

1. Elvira's Movie Macabre Double Features Bundle - 6 Double Feature DVDs, 12 movies = $42.00 + s/h
2. Elvira's Movie Macabre Singles Bundle - 6 DVDs = $35.99 + s/h
3. Roger Corman Blu-ray Bundle - 4 Discs = $59.99 + s/h
4. Roger Corman Mega DVD Bundle - 20 Films, 13 discs = $149.99 + s/h


You can never have too much Corman!
Well that's all for today! New stuff is coming to the Vault and its satellite blogs soon! Stay tuned! 19 more days until Hall-O-ween! SIL-VER, SHAM-ROCK!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Avengers Trailer is GO + New FRIGHT-RAGS tees!

Been a while since I posted anything, so here's a dose of awesome to kick off your Tuesday. First up, the 100% official trailer for next May's THE AVENGERS has hit the web and it looks amazing! Robert Downey Jr. looks like he'll be bringing his A-game as Tony Stark, and will provide a good foil for fellow Avenger Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America. Check out this trailer and get excited:

(Video was too big to embed on my blog.)

Now for something more holiday oriented. Those magnificent folks over at Fright-Rags have released SIX new horror-themed tees that are cool as hell, plus they are briefly re-releasing their much-loved "We Belong Alive" shirt design. All sales of that shirt will be donated to the ongoing war against breast cancer. (Forget saving the whales; save the boobies!) Check out the designs below then pony up some dough before they are gone!

Buy this for a very good cause.

"I'm gonna sleep in your bloody carcasses tonight!"

Laid to Rest 2: Electric Boogaloo

Is there someTHING in my teeth?!

Your bones will stay crunchy in milk!

The chocolatey goodness will drive you MAD!

Snap, Crackle, BRAIIIIINS!

All shirts are $19.95 (plus shipping and handline), except for the extremely limited (200 shirts only) Rue Morgue THING tee and the limited edition "We Belong Alive" design. Both of those bad boys are $24.95 apiece, and well worth it!

Well that's it for today b-movie fans. I'm going to try and get off my lazy arse and get some new content up on the site soon (this is after all, my month to shine). I'm thinking a few new reviews and maybe a podcast on the main site, along with some fresh new content here at the main Vault blog and over at Genre Watch, The Casual Gaming Blog, and The Riff Brothers should sate you as October rolls onward. Check back soon for new stuff and if you haven't started watching Horror flicks daily, you best start because there's only "twenty more days 'til Hall-o-ween! SIL-VER SHAM-ROCK!"

Thursday, September 1, 2011

New Capsule Review: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

I finally completed my review for CONAN THE BARBARIAN and it is not an overly positive one. I really did give it a chance, and I gave my buddy Bill the benefit of the doubt because he was so positive that I would like it. Unfortunately in the end, the film did nothing but disappoint me. Give the review a look and then decide for yourself if you want to see Momoan the Bore-barian in action.

Oh and check out this totally hilarious video I found on Youtube. It pretty much sums up my feelings towards the new Conan:

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Bad Movie Challenge: Conan the Barbarian (2011)!

Conan tries to deflect bad reviews with his sword.

Earlier last week my buddy and fellow blogger Bill (of Bill's Beta Ray Blog fame) saw the new "Conan the Barbarian" and was raving about it. He really enjoyed it. Thinking that perhaps I was too harsh in my earlier assessment of the film's trailers, I decided to look up "Conan" on IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes and discovered that not only did the majority of film critics and reviewers hate it, but so did quite a few fans. (Enough "Average Joes" enjoyed it enough to give it a, currently, 5.4 over at IMDB.)

I taunted Bill with excerpts from various reviews that spewed venomous comments about the film. He became agitated and fought back against me, saying I couldn't really judge the movie unless I had seen it for myself. And thusly, a challenge was (seemingly) inadvertently laid before me. I told Bill I'd go see the film this weekend but NOT in 3D, and would follow it up with a review. The former I'm doing to appease my friend because quite frankly, I don't really want to give ANY money to this movie: I'm pretty sure it is going to suck. (Sure the critics hated it but the box office numbers never lie: This flick is a bomb!) The latter I'm doing because I need to get back to writing, plus bashing this film will provide me with some catharsis for the pain I'll most likely endure.

So in a few short hours, I will be sitting (by myself because no one will share the pain with me) in a theater and watching the CGI exploits of Momoan the Barbarian. Will I end up hating the film? Will I kinda-sorta like it? Will I have a huge change of heart and praise it as one of the best movies of the year? Well if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you'll know later tonight. Otherwise, stay tuned for my capsule review!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Vault Empire Updates + Underbelly goes to OTAKON!

The Summer is coming to a close and soon the members of the Vault Empire will all be huddled indoors with nothing more to do than watch movies, read comics, play games, and write about it. Until then, updates will continue to be sporadic for most of us. And speaking of updates....




 There's some new Genre Watch goodness hitting the web tomorrow with a roster of released for this week PLUS a special post on three upcoming Blu-ray releases that will make your mouth water and won't break the bank! Amazon has some amazing deals coming up so don't miss out!

That's it for myself and my fellow Vault Empire bloggers so I will now leave you with the latest episode of Underbelly, where the crew heads to OTAKON to check out the cosplay fun!

Thursday, July 28, 2011


The awesome team at Fright-Rags, just unveiled FOUR NEW T-SHIRT DESIGNS that are guaranteed to make your mouth water. Check 'em out:

Blood Diner

Dog Soldiers!

Jordy Verill from CREEPSHOW!

THRILLER - A Cruel Picture.

As always, each shirt comes in a variety of sizes (Small to XXXL) and each one runs at $19.95 and is totally worth it! Also, Fright-Rags has gotten three of their most asked for shirts back in stock. If none of the shirts above are your thing (which I highly doubt) then maybe you'd like their amazing CRITTERS shirt, or their Nightmare On Elm St. "You're All My Kittens Now" parody tee, or maybe even their amazing Jeff Zornow drawn, BOGUS tee, which features the heroes and villains of "Night of the Creeps" and "The Monster Squad!" 

Also also, don't forget to check out the two awesome "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" posters they have for sale! Get your limited edition poster before they are GONE!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Superhero Pic Mania! Judge Dredd, Ghost Rider, and The Avengers!

Next year is shaping up to be another excellent year for superhero cinema, and lucky for you, I scour the web (mainly because they are 100% awesome!) for new movie news daily. Tonight I came across some images from three of next year's biggest superhero films. Or well... images from next year's biggest superhero event film and two lesser comic book films that may please their respective fans and hopefully make up for past cinematic transgressions against said heroes. Anyway, here's the good stuff:

Some Assembly Required!


The Voluptuous Black Widow.




Ride the Lightning with THOR!

HAWKEYE! Where's the goofy purple costume?

NICK FURY gets the motherf*ckin' Avengers motherf*ckin' assembled!

So there's the good news. Now onto the bad. Here are some photos for the upcoming JUDGE DREDD and GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE. Behold the awfulness of Karl Urban in a majorly stripped-down Judge uniform:

Thousands of Dredd fans have that same look on their face...

Lastly here's a few pics from the next Ghost Rider, starring Nicholas Cage and Idris Elba:

Cool! Heimdall's in this movie!

The shot of Ghost Rider is OK; I'm sure he'll look much cooler in action. As for Idris Elba being in this movie... I'm all for it. Regardless of how the hardcore Norse-lovin' fanboys felt about him play Heimdall in THOR, even they had to admit that he was great as the all-seeing gatekeeper of Asgard. I'm not sure who Idris will be playing, but I'm pretty positive he'll be totally bad ass!

A big thanks to for posting all of these pics; you guys rock! Be sure to visit them DAILY for news, reviews, and articles about film, comics, TV, and video games!

More blog posts and other goodies are coming soon so stay tuned b-movie fans!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Vault Empire Updates + New Underbelly episodes + Mortal Kombat Legacy: Episode 9!

I have yet to get my lazy ass in gear and type up some new content for The Casual Gaming Blog, Genre Watch, or The Vault itself, but that will be changing soon. In the meantime, here's some stuff to read from some of my fellow pop culture bloggers:

Beta Ray Blog
 MMA Addict

Radiation-Scarred Reviews

In Underbelly news: They are focusing heavily on Final Fantasy this month and have been out and about at the latest Wizard World con. Check out all their new videos below:

Lastly (for now), Machinima finally released the latest webisode of Mortal Kombat: Legacy onto Youtube. Wether you've seen the rest or not, it doesn't matter, because CYRAX and SEKTOR turn into bad-ass robo-ninjas in this episode. Prior eps have gone through brief intros (and backstories) for Mileena, Kitana, Johnny Cage, Raiden, Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Jax, Kano, and Sonya Blade, and they are pretty impressive to say the least. (Actual martial artists AND Hollywood actors?!) Check it out for yourself:

That's all I've got to share for now. Enjoy the vids, reviews, and articles, and prepare for new stuff very soon! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

B-Movie Film Vault Empire Updates!

Here's the latest batch of posts, articles, reviews, etc. from the small conglomerate of blogs that makes up the Vault Empire:


The Genre Watch blog will be gearing up for weekly updates again soon; there will be a new review for "Godzilla: Goliaths and Gangsters #1" at the Beta Ray Blog within the next few days; Bill from Radiation-Scarred Reviews is on sabbatical from writing for a little while as he enjoys the Summer and spends some quality time with his lady.

Stay tuned for more bloggage; enjoy your weekend!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Back to the grindstone + Vault now on Twitter!

Hello all. Sorry I haven't posted ANYTHING new in a few weeks. I came down with a bad cold and it held on for nearly two weeks, plus I've just been busy enjoying the Summer sun. However, I've been bitten by the writing bug again and plan on adding a lot of new content to all of my sites and blogs. Here's what I've got going on so far:

Genre Watch - I'll be getting back on track with this very soon! I've gotten the format down to something extremely simple now, so it doesn't take as long as it used to to write up each post. The problem is that I can't seem to stick to the weekly posting schedule for more than a month.... maybe I should simplify it even more?

Casual Gaming Blog - I'll be posting a new, five-part article entitled FIVE NES GAMES THAT SHOULD BE MADE INTO MOVIES! After that, I'll be tackling a list of films based on games that NEED to be remade! I also plan on jumping back into posting weekly (perhaps monthly) updates on new game releases as well.

The Vault - New reviews! I freakin' promise! I nearly finished by review of "Super 8" but got too distracted to complete it. I'm still more than open to having guest writers add content to the site. If you want to write for the Vault, drop me an e-mail at vault_master[at]bmoviefilmvault[dot]com!

Bill's Beta Ray Blog - I'm going to be doing a review for issue one of "Godzilla: Gangsters and Goliaths." This five issue series is off to a helluva start and I can't wait to read the next one! I'm still awaiting my issue of Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #3, but I managed to get my paws on #4 and I'm really digging it. Oh, and as always, the Zornow cover art is phenomenal. The Eric Powell cover art... stills sucks balls.

The B-Movie Film Vault Blog - I plan on trying to match the number of posts from last month. It felt good to update almost daily and really helped get me in the mood to write again. Expect a buttload of bloggery in the future!

The B-Movie Film Vault Forum - Still making some posts in there and always trying to generate interest in it. Needless to say, out of all the things I've tried with my site, the Forum was always the biggest failure. If you have a heart (and some free time) start an account and get posting!

Finally, before I venture off to do a bit o' writing before bed, I would like to announce that The Vault is now on Twitter. I'm not quite accustomed to it yet, and I'm not a hardcore "tweeter" at the moment, but I'm sure I'll be abusing it thoroughly in the coming weeks. To follow me just click on the button below!

Check back soon for new stuff!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Latest Vault Empire Updates; new episode of Underbelly; Rifftrax Live coming in August!

Greetings everyone; your friendly neighborhood Vault Master here with a few things to share with you. First off, check out my rockin' "digital badge" that I just received in an e-mail the other day. I got this for donating a dollar to the "DETROIT NEEDS ROBOCOP" project. Essentially, some crazy folks decided that they want a RoboCop statue built in the middle of Detroit. Against the pleas of Detroit's mayor, more than enough funds were pulled together to make the (1:1 scale) statue a reality. It is currently in the process of being molded (or is it being sculpted?) and should make its triumphant unveiling next year at Wayne State University's TechTown campus!

Directive 4: Donate to worthy RoboCop-related projects.

And now onto the latest updates from the B-Movie Film Vault Empire:

Genre Watch
MMA Addict

I know that isn't much, but fear not for Summer is here and all of us under the Vault banner are taking more time out to relax and enjoy the sunshine. We have not gone quietly into the night, we have not yet surrendered without a fight! More new stuff is coming from ALL of us, I promise!

And now for something truly entertaining... and random. I have become a huge fan of Underbelly and this latest episode caps off their "superhero month" perfectly. In this episode, Newt dons a costume and prepares to become the next legendary superhero whose exploits will make tales worthy of contemporary comic books! Prepare for the coming of...... UNDERBULLY!

Finally, here's some kick ass news that I've been sitting on for at least a week now. (I would have posted about it sooner but I sorta forgot.) The Rifftrax crew (i.e. Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy) are bringing fans another dose of RIFFTRAX LIVE on August 17th! The movie of choice this time? "JACK, THE GIANT KILLER" featuring Kerwin Matthews and various stop-motion creatures that look like horrific versions of Gumby characters. Feast your eyes upon the trailer!

I actually loved this movie when I was a kid but I'm more than willing to sit down and watch it be verbally torn asunder by these three demigods of movie riffing.

Well that's it for tonight folks. I currently have a LOT of stuff I want to write about; I have it all up in my thick skull, I just need to get it down on paper.. err... I mean Wordpad. Besides some new movie reviews (like the horribly belated ones for "Super 8" and "Troll Hunter"), I have some new articles in the works (including two new "Indie Films You Should Be Stoked For" articles plus some new stuff for the Casual Gaming Blog) and the outline for a new podcast. Stay tuned for more blogging and whatnot as the days go by!

Oh, and before I forget, be sure to head on over to FREDDY IN SPACE! This frequently updated Horror blog has now reached its THIRD YEAR ONLINE and garnered a good cult following, and deservedly so: its webmaster consistently delivers quality articles and reviews, and frequently has awesome contests! Make sure to bookmark Freddy In right now and visit it often!

G'night everyone!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Guillermo del Toro's PACIFIC RIM!

For any of you that follow film news religiously, you probably were saddened to hear that Guillermo del Toro will NOT be directing an R-rated "At the Mountains of Madness." This is because Universal (who was recently hemming and hawing over the budget of Ron Howard's proposed "Dark Tower" series) refused to budge on the rating; they feel that they are taking a huge financial chance on a Lovecraft-themed film and didn't want to lose out on the teenage crowd. (And as we all know... today's youth just loves H.P. Lovecraft. That was sarcasm by the way. 90% of kids today have no idea who Lovecraft is... unless they managed to see Cthulhu's appearance on South Park.)

"Universal.... you are forcing my hand. Give me an R-rating or else...."
In any case, Guillermo hopped from his dream project to something infinitely cooler (in my eyes): A little film called "Pacific Rim." Set to start filming at the end of this year (for a Summer 2013 release), the film already has Idris Elba (Heimdall from "THOR") and Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy) attached (with Charlie Day interested in a role as well), and features one of the coolest storylines ever. From Slashfilm's latest news article:
Set in a future in which malevolent creatures threaten the earth, the planet must band together and use highly advanced technology to eradicate the growing menace. This project will give the Hellboy filmmaker the opportunity to create two worlds. The first is an alternate version of Earth in the near future, decades after a historic date in November 2012 when the first kaiju, a towering Godzilla-like beast, emerged from a hole in the Pacific Ocean and attacked the city of Osaka, Japan. The second is “The Anteverse,” another universe on the other side of that gaping portal, 5 miles below our ocean’s surface. Since the first attack, the rim has been “spitting out” a variety of gigantic monsters at an increasing rate, which then stride out of the ocean and begin destroying sea-bordering cities, like Tokyo and Los Angeles. In order to combat these monstrous, otherworldly menaces, the military developed the “Jaeger” program, which trains teams of two pilots to jointly operate massive, building-sized mechanized suits of armor and high-tech weaponry.

Yes, you read that correctly folks, a portal to another dimension opens beneath the Pacific and spits out GIANT MONSTERS! To protect ourselves, humanity builds GIANT ROBOTS (mecha to be more precise) to combat these invading kaiju! This is kind of a shocker as giant mech/robot films (and TV shows) are almost primarily an export of Japan. Actually, the only real shock about this is that American film companies haven't jumped on an idea like this before; the only real mecha-moments we've had in our movies hail from the films of James Cameron (e.g. Aliens, Avatar) and the Wachowski brothers (e.g. "Matrix Revolutions").

Once again, "Pacific Rim" begins production later this year (shooting starts in September/November) and for some reasons will be held up until NEXT Summer. I'll be posting more news on this as it happens. In the meantime, enjoy the opening of "Evangelion: Neon Genesis," one of the most well known mecha vs. monster anime shows of all time:

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

New Fright-Rags tees; New Underbelly videos; Closed For the Season coming to DVD; 15 Movies that Can Also be Watched Backwards!

Good afternoon b-movie fans! It is a gorgeous day in the neighborhood (well... sort of) and I have plenty of cool things for you to check out today. First up, the gang at FRIGHT-RAGS dropped me a line to let me know that they have three new shirts available PLUS a rockin' "Friday the 13th" poster. The new shirts feature ye olde logos of several horror magazine publications and came about as a result of the popularity of their recent Rue Morgue t-shirt release. Check this stuff out!


Next up: NEW UNDERBELLY VIDEOS! The first has the Underbelly team visiting the New Jersey Renaissance Faire (wow, these LARPers are verily tripping over their tongues while talking to the hostess of this episode) while the second is an attempt at vindicating "The Man of Steel." Watch and subscribe!

This morning I also got word from director Jay Woelfel that "Closed for the Season" (read my review of the rough cut HERE) is done and finally being released on DVD on AUGUST 26TH. I've been eager to see the final product, so I shall definitely be picking up a copy and you should too. (Support independent cinema!) The DVD will have an audio commentary by writer/director Jay Woelfel, deleted scenes with (optional?) audio commentary, multi-part behind-the-scenes featurette, two tour videos of Chippewa Lake from 1993 and 2008, and Webisodes. The film will be featured in 2.35:1 widescreen, with Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound audio. This is a lot of love for a small film like this (kudos to MTI Home Video) and I'm excited to check out all the special features but... did they really have to use that generic photoshopped cover? The original poster art, in my opinion, is far superior.

Finally, I found something rather fun over at Unreality Magazine. They posted an article recently called "15 Movies that Can Also be Watched Backwards." CLICK HERE to check it out and prepare to laugh; make sure you're not drinking or eating anything while reading this stuff.

Well that's it folks; I gotta get my butt to work. When I get home tonight, I'll be doing a bit more writing and should at the very least, have a new Genre Watch up for you! Enjoy the rest of this whimsical(?) Wednesday!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Youtube-a-palooza: Singing Russians, Leslie Vernon's Return, Troll Hunter Strikes Back, & Troma Taunts us with Toxie!

It's been a long couple of days b-movie fans; my apologies for not making any new posts (or adding new content). Saturday was a marathon of parties, starting with a birthday party for my (now) four year old niece Lily, where I was taken down by a vicious pack of children, as a pride of lions would bring down a caribou. Following a short visit to my buddy Adam's graduation party, I ended my Saturday at an engagement party (Congrats to Josh and Lorraine!) where I got SLOSHED.

In any case, it has been back to the ole grindstone for yours truly since that busy weekend, but tonight I've managed to reserve a bit of energy in order to bring you a dose of awesome. Here are some cool videos that are bouncing around Youtube at the moment that will most assuredly bring a smile to your face.

First up, how about a little music to brighten our spirits? Ever hear of that catchy song "Istanbul (not Constantinople)?" Well here's a new version of it as sung by THE BAD ASS RUSSIAN:

Wait... did I see a "Baseball Fury" from "The Warriors" sitting at the bar? I did! I did!

Next up is a video featuring actor Nathan Baesel (in character as Leslie Vernon) asking fans to help him raise funds for the prequel/sequel/remake of "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon" (one of my favorite genre films). If you've failed to see it, definitely check it out. It does a wonderful job at deconstructing slasher films, then uses those same cliches to create a completely satisfying slasher movie climax! Here's hoping this new film comes to pass; check out the video below then CLICK HERE to donate to this worthy cause:

This next video is a fun little parody created by the special effects guru behind the creatures in Norway's awesome mockumentary TROLL HUNTER. This "explains" why one of the creatures in the film has only one arm and it is just so monumentally awesome. Check it out; then get your paws on a copy of TROLL HUNTER and watch it!

Finally, here's something that truly blew my mind tonight. I discovered the first ever teaser trailer for Troma's upcoming TOXIC AVENGER 5: THE TOXIC TWINS. While I was immediately jumping for joy, I was saddened to learn that they haven't even written the damn movie yet. Still, its a nice way to let us fans know that it is eventually going to happen, and... HEY! They used Toxie's original voice from the first movie! COOL!

Hope you enjoyed all of those videos folks. Stay tuned for more posts (and hopefully new reviews and whatnot at the Vault) and... oh wait, I have one more thing to say....

100% funded by Nazi Gold.

Friday, June 17, 2011


Yikes, I've been blogging like crazy lately... I hope this urge to write constantly continues!

I just got in the door from seeing "Green Lantern," but before I get into that I'll share some cool movie news with ya'll. First up, here is a photo of Hugo Weaving as Captain America's stalwart nemesis, THE RED SKULL:

God he looks freakin' awesome! While I'm still not one-hundred percent sold on the look of Captain America's WWII costume, I have no complaints about the Red Skull.

Next up, here is the all new trailer for Vivid Entertainment's next Super-Hero Porno: SPIDER-MAN - THE XXX PARODY! Apparently Vivid did a HULK porno that got rave reviews, so they decided to continue bastardizing America's mythological heroes by having them bone the comic book gals us nerds always fantasized about.

The list of characters consists of Peter Parker/Spidey, The Kingpin (played by... Peter O'Tool? Hahahahaha!), Electro, Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane Watson, Betty Brant, Black Widow, J. Jonah Jameson, Robbie Robertson, and Flash Thompson. (There's no way Marvel would OK this, so I'm assuming they are utilizing the same law that allows Weird Al to parody the work of other musicians.) And this isn't some project done on the cheap folks... this is a full feature-length film, with hardcore sex and CGI f/x! I'm not kidding; watch the trailer:

Finally, before I head off to bed, let me chat a bit about "Green Lantern" while it is still fresh in my mind. I went into the theater with lowered expectations (thanks to a heads up from Newt from Underbelly) and that helped me to not hate this movie. At best, the "Green Lantern" is a mediocre superhero film that only succeeds in being an entertaining cinematic experience because of its failures. (There are a lot of scenes here that are supposed to be dramatic, but ended up giving the audience a good laugh.)

"This suit is too dull. Let's 'improve' it with a few million dollars worth of CGI!"

Ryan Reynolds stars as Hal Jordan, a cocky fighter-jet pilot who ends up getting a Green Lantern ring from a dying alien named Abin Sur. Hal eventually learns how to access the ring's power, and makes a trip to the planet Oa where the audience is given a bunch of expository information. (If you know absolutely nothing about The Green Lantern, this section of the film will get you up to speed.) He is told of the Lantern Corps origins, and briefly trained in combat by fellow "emerald knights," Kilowog and Sinestro.

After being defeated (i.e. humiliated) by Sinestro (who literally goes all Captain America on Hal at one point), our hero goes back to Earth to mope around until he gets a taste for superheroics and receives some tender advice from his love interest. Finally accepting his role as a Green Lantern, Hal must defend Earth not only from his first major foe, Hector Hammond (the lovechild of Professor X, John Carpenter, and The Elephant Man) but also an evil fear-devouring monstrosity known as Parallax. Will Hal be able to save Earth (and his girl) from the world-devouring Parallax? Will Sinestro foolishly try to utilize the power of the Yellow Ring if Hal fails in his mission? Truthfully, you probably won't really give a damn.

This movie will be a major letdown to the hardcore Green Lantern fans, and just plain "meh" for everyone else. (Except kids; they'll probably love the sh*t out of this movie.) The characters aren't really all that interesting (except for Peter Sarsgaard as Hector Hammond), the whole subplot involving Hal's psychological issues is pretty generic and handled rather clumsily, Blake Lively is cute to look at but doesn't prove to be much more than a damsel in distress, and the effects.... Christ the effects are really a mixed bag.


Mere months ago I saw Marvel's "THOR" and was blown away at how well that movie brought Asgard to life. It was done so well, and the film itself managed to find a good balance between spending time on Midgard (Earth) as well as Asgard. "Green Lantern" attempts to do the same, but fails miserably. And Oa, though cool to look at, seems more like something you'd see in a video game cut scene; it fails to pull you in and make you believe that it is a real place. Also, a lot of the CGI in this is laughable; you'd think the effects artists could have done a better job, especially when given some extra time and around nine-million to do some "touch up work" mere weeks before opening day.

Overall, "Green Lantern" is a lousy start for a new superhero franchise because it fails on so many levels. However the final battle between Hal and Parallax (the giant fecal space-octopus) is admittedly cool, and Peter Saarsgard gives a memorably goofy performance as the whiny big-brained Hector Hammond. (Sarsgaard is so over the top at times and results in many of the films unintentionally funny moments.) If you're dead set on seeing "Green Lantern," then I highly suggest you catch a matinee of it. Otherwise, save your money for next month's Summer blockbusters or, better yet, go see "Super 8" instead.

John Carpenter as The Elephant Man in "Green Lantern."
Oh yeah, I almost forgot! There is an extra scene that takes places shortly after the credits begin to roll. For those of you who know the Green Lantern mythos, you won't be surprised at what happens: Sinestro takes possession of the Yellow Lantern ring (that the Guardians stupidly created) and is engulfed by the power of FEAR! So Hal and the rest of the Green Lantern Corps will now have to contest with the "Sinestro Corps" if the sequel gets made... and it most likely will. Here's hoping that Warner Bros. and DC do a better job with the story and effects (and characters) the second time around.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

"Detention" and "Monster Brawl" trailers; short rant about "Close Encounters of the Third Kind."

Hey all! Just discovered a trailer for a new Horror/Comedy called "Detention." The first half of the trailer makes the movie look like a typical teen/high school comedy, and then people die! It actually looks pretty entertaining and I wouldn't mind giving it a look. Check out the trailer and see what you think:

That whole "Heath Ledger" joke caught me off guard and gave me a good laugh. ("What? Too soon?") In fact, it seems like this movie is going to have a lot of witty banter; I'm very curious about this one, and have added it to my "movies I need to see" list. (Yes I actually do have one of those.)

Next up is a trailer for an indie film called "Monster Brawl," a film where various legendary monsters battle it out in a wrestling ring to become the mightiest monster of all time. The lineup includes "Frankenstein," "Cyclops," "The Mummy," "Witch Bitch," "Swamp Gut," "Lady Vampire," "Zombie Man," and "Werewolf" and only one will survive this "fight of the living dead."

Hahahaha. "Monster Brawl" was an official selection of the Fantasia Film Festival this year and it looks totally ridiculous (holy shit! Jimmy Hart?!) but should be a fun watch. Visit the OFFICIAL SITE to learn more about the film and its mon-stars. There's no release date yet for this film, but it has been picked up for distribution so I'm thinking it'll get a release sometime in September or October.

Lastly, I need to get something off of my chest. "Super 8" has given me a craving to go back and revisit some of my favorite Spielbergian films from my childhood. I really wanted to watch "E.T." but I don't own it and NetFlix isn't streaming it at the moment (bastards!). So I opted for "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" instead. I haven't seen this particular alien film in well over a decade, and it is surprising how much I didn't recall.

It's a great movie and Spielberg was at the top of his game when he wrote and filmed it. The film triggered my superhuman "nostaglia sense" and I felt like a kid again; it had me reminiscing about watching this film late one Summer night on The Disney Channel, long before it became cluttered with horrible "tweener" sitcoms.

However... after mulling it all over, I've come to a huge conclusion: The alien beings in this movie are complete dicks! (Note: SPOILERS AHEAD!)

"People of Earth..... F*CK YOU!"

First off, lets discuss how they first make their presence known to the scientific community in the film. The aliens come down and drop off a half-dozen World War II fighter planes, still in mint condition. Later, during the climax, they release all of their human captives, including the pilots of those six planes! While this is all well and good, you have to stop and consider this: The pilots have not aged; they've been missing for nearly forty years; everyone they knew is either old or dead; everything they knew is now either changed or gone.

These guys are going to have to adapt to (what they would consider) a more futuristic world with no family or friends to help them! (And that's even if they are allowed back into society; methinks the military would probably just keep them bottled up somewhere for vigorous questioning for the remainder of their lives.)

Secondly, along with giving (most likely) hundreds of people a bad sunburn, they also implant a sort of post-hypnotic suggestion in various folks, compelling them to come meet their eventual conquerors for a friendly chat at Devil's Tower in Wyoming. One of said folks is Richard Dreyfuss' character Roy Neary.

After his brief encounter with a U.F.O., Roy begins to have a near psychotic breakdown. He sees a certain mountainous shape in everything and tries to unlock the mystery behind it. He continuously creates a mountain-like shape out of everything and anything he can, whether it be shaving cream, modeling clay, or delicious mashed potatoes.

"This means something...... most likely divorce."

This causes him to act a wee bit crazy and it wrecks his entire life. He loses his job, his wife takes the kids and runs off (mainly because she's terrified), he destroys a good portion of his house to create a huge scale model of Devil's Tower, the neighbors think he's insane, and he seems pretty OK with it all once he discovers where Devil's Tower is.

He just picks up his stuff and drives off to Wyoming without a single thought, and risks life and limb to escape from military custody and witness the first contact between man and extraterrestrials. In the end, his reward for having his life on Earth completely destroyed, is to be chosen by his tormentors to go with them into outer space, where he is quite likely to be brutally (and frequently) anal-probed.

Finally, because they probably couldn't bear to leave Earth without giving us technologically inferior humans a final "f*ck you," the aliens totally snub the government's elite chosen crew of abductees. A group of personnel that we briefly see a few times throughout the film, were hand selected to go up to the stars and learn more about the aliens.

Their identities are taken, they are given a quiet moment of prayer, and then marched up to the mothership (with Richard Dreyfuss following gingerly along). The aliens approach the group of would-be galactic travelers, grab Richard Dreyfuss, and take off. ("Wait! Guys! You just unloaded about four dozen other kidnap victims, I think you have room for eight more people! Oh come on? Really?! You chose Richard Dreyfuss over US?! F*CK YOU ALIENS!")

And these are just the main indications that the superior race of beings that visits Earth in this film is made up of assholes. They also bait police officers into a "car chase," which ends with one cop driving off a cliff. (We never know what happens to this bit part character, so I'll assume he died in a fiery inferno of screaming metal.)

And they also kidnap a child and drive his mother as equally insane as Richard Dreyfuss. Do we, the people of Planet Earth get an apology for any of this, or even demand one? Hell no! They just mess with us, destroy lives and property, then wave goodbye. And we practically thank them for it! And for that, I guess we deserved to be on the receiving end of the antics of these visiting galactic fratboys.

Well that's my rant about "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." Its a classic, and a great film overall with all the right Spielbergian touches that made cinema of the 70's and 80's awesome. If you haven't seen it, or just haven't see it in a while, give it a watch. It is still widely available and currently streaming on NetFlix!

Check back tomorrow night for two new capsule reviews and enjoy the rest of this gorgeous Thursday!