Thursday, June 16, 2011

"Detention" and "Monster Brawl" trailers; short rant about "Close Encounters of the Third Kind."

Hey all! Just discovered a trailer for a new Horror/Comedy called "Detention." The first half of the trailer makes the movie look like a typical teen/high school comedy, and then people die! It actually looks pretty entertaining and I wouldn't mind giving it a look. Check out the trailer and see what you think:



That whole "Heath Ledger" joke caught me off guard and gave me a good laugh. ("What? Too soon?") In fact, it seems like this movie is going to have a lot of witty banter; I'm very curious about this one, and have added it to my "movies I need to see" list. (Yes I actually do have one of those.)

Next up is a trailer for an indie film called "Monster Brawl," a film where various legendary monsters battle it out in a wrestling ring to become the mightiest monster of all time. The lineup includes "Frankenstein," "Cyclops," "The Mummy," "Witch Bitch," "Swamp Gut," "Lady Vampire," "Zombie Man," and "Werewolf" and only one will survive this "fight of the living dead."



Hahahaha. "Monster Brawl" was an official selection of the Fantasia Film Festival this year and it looks totally ridiculous (holy shit! Jimmy Hart?!) but should be a fun watch. Visit the OFFICIAL SITE to learn more about the film and its mon-stars. There's no release date yet for this film, but it has been picked up for distribution so I'm thinking it'll get a release sometime in September or October.

Lastly, I need to get something off of my chest. "Super 8" has given me a craving to go back and revisit some of my favorite Spielbergian films from my childhood. I really wanted to watch "E.T." but I don't own it and NetFlix isn't streaming it at the moment (bastards!). So I opted for "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" instead. I haven't seen this particular alien film in well over a decade, and it is surprising how much I didn't recall.

It's a great movie and Spielberg was at the top of his game when he wrote and filmed it. The film triggered my superhuman "nostaglia sense" and I felt like a kid again; it had me reminiscing about watching this film late one Summer night on The Disney Channel, long before it became cluttered with horrible "tweener" sitcoms.

However... after mulling it all over, I've come to a huge conclusion: The alien beings in this movie are complete dicks! (Note: SPOILERS AHEAD!)

"People of Earth..... F*CK YOU!"

First off, lets discuss how they first make their presence known to the scientific community in the film. The aliens come down and drop off a half-dozen World War II fighter planes, still in mint condition. Later, during the climax, they release all of their human captives, including the pilots of those six planes! While this is all well and good, you have to stop and consider this: The pilots have not aged; they've been missing for nearly forty years; everyone they knew is either old or dead; everything they knew is now either changed or gone.

These guys are going to have to adapt to (what they would consider) a more futuristic world with no family or friends to help them! (And that's even if they are allowed back into society; methinks the military would probably just keep them bottled up somewhere for vigorous questioning for the remainder of their lives.)

Secondly, along with giving (most likely) hundreds of people a bad sunburn, they also implant a sort of post-hypnotic suggestion in various folks, compelling them to come meet their eventual conquerors for a friendly chat at Devil's Tower in Wyoming. One of said folks is Richard Dreyfuss' character Roy Neary.

After his brief encounter with a U.F.O., Roy begins to have a near psychotic breakdown. He sees a certain mountainous shape in everything and tries to unlock the mystery behind it. He continuously creates a mountain-like shape out of everything and anything he can, whether it be shaving cream, modeling clay, or delicious mashed potatoes.

"This means something...... most likely divorce."

This causes him to act a wee bit crazy and it wrecks his entire life. He loses his job, his wife takes the kids and runs off (mainly because she's terrified), he destroys a good portion of his house to create a huge scale model of Devil's Tower, the neighbors think he's insane, and he seems pretty OK with it all once he discovers where Devil's Tower is.

He just picks up his stuff and drives off to Wyoming without a single thought, and risks life and limb to escape from military custody and witness the first contact between man and extraterrestrials. In the end, his reward for having his life on Earth completely destroyed, is to be chosen by his tormentors to go with them into outer space, where he is quite likely to be brutally (and frequently) anal-probed.

Finally, because they probably couldn't bear to leave Earth without giving us technologically inferior humans a final "f*ck you," the aliens totally snub the government's elite chosen crew of abductees. A group of personnel that we briefly see a few times throughout the film, were hand selected to go up to the stars and learn more about the aliens.

Their identities are taken, they are given a quiet moment of prayer, and then marched up to the mothership (with Richard Dreyfuss following gingerly along). The aliens approach the group of would-be galactic travelers, grab Richard Dreyfuss, and take off. ("Wait! Guys! You just unloaded about four dozen other kidnap victims, I think you have room for eight more people! Oh come on? Really?! You chose Richard Dreyfuss over US?! F*CK YOU ALIENS!")

And these are just the main indications that the superior race of beings that visits Earth in this film is made up of assholes. They also bait police officers into a "car chase," which ends with one cop driving off a cliff. (We never know what happens to this bit part character, so I'll assume he died in a fiery inferno of screaming metal.)

And they also kidnap a child and drive his mother as equally insane as Richard Dreyfuss. Do we, the people of Planet Earth get an apology for any of this, or even demand one? Hell no! They just mess with us, destroy lives and property, then wave goodbye. And we practically thank them for it! And for that, I guess we deserved to be on the receiving end of the antics of these visiting galactic fratboys.

Well that's my rant about "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." Its a classic, and a great film overall with all the right Spielbergian touches that made cinema of the 70's and 80's awesome. If you haven't seen it, or just haven't see it in a while, give it a watch. It is still widely available and currently streaming on NetFlix!

Check back tomorrow night for two new capsule reviews and enjoy the rest of this gorgeous Thursday!

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