Vault Master's Top Ten Cult Christmas Oddities: #10 - Santa vs. the Snowman (2002)

Greetings b-movie fans! Christmas is nearly upon us, and I felt that a new Top Ten List on the site would be a great way to celebrate the holidays! This time around I'm focusing my attention on ten cult films that have a Christmas theme and are weird as Hell! Prepare yourself for ten films featuring miniature monsters, killer Santas, homicidal snowmen, alien invaders, and Wookiees! Happy HELL-idays from The B-Movie Film Vault!
Santa vs. the Snowman 3D (2002)
32 minutes / Color / Not Rated
a.k.a. Julemanden og snemanden

The Plot: A mute snowman accidentally blunders onto Santa's private property and is given a less-than friendly welcome by Kris Kringle's security elves. After escaping from Santa's Workshop, the Snowman decides that he wants to be Santa Claus and plans to take over Father Christmas' operation by force. What follows is an hilarious spoof of the Planet Hoth battle from The Empire Strikes Back (which I absolutely f*cking refuse to call "Episode V!") with snowball-spitting snowmen battling elves that are armed with hot cocoa guns and ride on rocket-powered reindeer!

Though Santa's troops have technological superiority against the icy intruders, they are eventually defeated by the overwhelming number of snowman footsoldiers. Although the Snowman wins the battle, he ultimately loses the war after he realizes that Christmas is better left to Santa. (He learns his lesson after a little girl breaks her "ice dolly" after trying to kiss it and getting her lips stuck to the gift.) In the end, Santa deputizes his former foe as his helper, and together they spread Christmas cheer to all of the good boys and girls.

Created by the always weird Steve Oedekerk (the man behind such "classics" as Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, Bat Thumb, Thumb Wars, et al.), this is a fun little CGI epic. The storyline is pretty weak, even for a half-hour animated short, but luckily the animation is well done (it must have looked amazing when played in 3D at I-MAX theaters) and you can't help but love the nods toward (arguably) the best of the films in the Star Wars saga.

For some reason, a lot of my friends seem to despise this holiday oddity, but even the biggest naysayers grudgingly admit to enjoying the recreated Planet Hoth battle between Santa's and the Snowman's forces. This struggle is the highlight of the film and features some truly hilarious homages to the classic sci-fi epic from 1980, and saves this animated short from being just another forgettable Christmas special.

Why it made the list: Because a snowman that can't talk builds an army and attacks Santa Claus Imperial Snowtrooper-style! This could have been a goofy and generic battle between two holiday icons (the unnamed Snowman is obviously substituting for Frosty the Snowman) but Santa vs. the Snowman takes things up a notch. What starts out as a mere snowball fight quickly turns into a massive battle that ends with a duel between a giant ice monster and a giant fire-breathing nutcracker that is piloted by Santa Claus! Need I say more?

Weirdness Factor: LOW. Since this is a family-friendly short film that is mainly aimed at children (don't worry, there's a few jokes tossed in for us adults), this really isn't too weird, but there's enough of Steve Oedekerk's oddness in this to earn Santa vs. the Snowman the number ten spot on my list.

The next film in the countdown should be familiar to you, especially if you are a fan of MST3K. That leaves two possibilities, so check back very soon to see if your guess is correct. And just in case you're not keeping track: EIGHT DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS!

Christmas Podcast at the Vault!

A new podcast has been uploaded at the Vault for your listening pleasure. This holiday program features an audio review for Silent Night, Deadly Night, the much-maligned horror classic from 1984, complete with audio clips and music from the film! Click here to listen to the B-Movie Film Vault's Christmas Podcast '09!

Stay tuned for some new reviews and a holiday-themed Top Ten List!

New Capsule Review: The Wild Man of the Navidad (2008)!

A mysterious creature terrorizes a rural Texan community in The Wild Man of the Navidad . This bastard child of The Legend of Boggy Creek and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is based on the (supposedly) true events as chronicled by a man named Dale S. Rogers, and was not nearly as entertaining as I had been led to believe by fellow online reviewers.



More new content is on the way including more reviews, a new podcast, and (hopefully) a holiday-themed top-ten list, so check back soon b-movie fans!

Rifftrax Live Christmas Extravaganza!!!

Bill Corbett, Mike Nelson, and Kevin Murphy are putting on an all new Rifftrax Live on Wednesday, December 16th (with a rebroadcast on Thursday, December 17th)! The trio will be riffing on various Christmas shorts, digital goodies will be given away, and Weird Al Yankovic will be making a guest appearance. I went to the previous Rifftrax Live and it was amazing, and I've already made plans to see this latest screening. (Hopefully tickets don't sell out before my next payday....)

CLICK HERE to see if this show is playing at a theater near you, and to buy tickets! (Thankfully it is playing near me, at the Cinemark multiplex at the base of "Sno Mountain" in Moosic, PA!

The Vault Master is sellin' out.

I hated to do it, but desperate times call for desperate measures....

I am now utilizing Google AdSense at the Vault and on my Blog, and I am selling adspace at the Vault as well.

The site has managed to pay for itself over the years thanks to commission earned from Amazon.com and Movies Unlimited.com, but quite frankly, I need more cash. Christmas is coming, I have bills up the wazoo, and aside from getting a second job (hard to do when no one is hiring), whoring out the Vault is the next logical step in my quest to battle debt.

I did not come to this decision lightly (I've personally always tried to keep the Vault ad-free), and I will do my best to keep the ads as unobtrusive as possible (i.e. no annoying popups!)

And on that note, if you are at all interested in advertising your film, movie website, or (preferably cult) film-related products at the Vault, by all means contact me at vault_master[at]bmoviefilmvault[dot]com.

The "Army of Darkness" invades ye olde Vault review archives!

After two nights of painstaking work, I've refurbished my old review for Army of Darkness into something readable!

Expect more old reviews to be uploaded as months go by, along with a few NEW reviews too. Speaking of which, expect a brand new capsule review to be posted within the next week for "The Wild Man of the Navidad," an indie flick that is one part "Legend of Boggy Creek" and two parts "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Sound good? Well it isn't, and I'll explain why in my upcoming review! Stay tuned b-movie fans!

Torture the Vault Master 3D!

Just in time for the holidays, I present a gift to all of you dedicated readers out there: For the third time in my site's nine-year run, you can choose the 3D film I will have to suffer through! Voting is open to the public and will end halfway through December. The resulting review should be up just in time for Christmas! So what are you waiting for? CLICK HERE and pick my three-dimensional cinematic poison!