Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Vault Master's Top Ten Cult Christmas Oddities: #10 - Santa vs. the Snowman (2002)

Greetings b-movie fans! Christmas is nearly upon us, and I felt that a new Top Ten List on the site would be a great way to celebrate the holidays! This time around I'm focusing my attention on ten cult films that have a Christmas theme and are weird as Hell! Prepare yourself for ten films featuring miniature monsters, killer Santas, homicidal snowmen, alien invaders, and Wookiees! Happy HELL-idays from The B-Movie Film Vault!
Santa vs. the Snowman 3D (2002)
32 minutes / Color / Not Rated
a.k.a. Julemanden og snemanden

The Plot: A mute snowman accidentally blunders onto Santa's private property and is given a less-than friendly welcome by Kris Kringle's security elves. After escaping from Santa's Workshop, the Snowman decides that he wants to be Santa Claus and plans to take over Father Christmas' operation by force. What follows is an hilarious spoof of the Planet Hoth battle from The Empire Strikes Back (which I absolutely f*cking refuse to call "Episode V!") with snowball-spitting snowmen battling elves that are armed with hot cocoa guns and ride on rocket-powered reindeer!

Though Santa's troops have technological superiority against the icy intruders, they are eventually defeated by the overwhelming number of snowman footsoldiers. Although the Snowman wins the battle, he ultimately loses the war after he realizes that Christmas is better left to Santa. (He learns his lesson after a little girl breaks her "ice dolly" after trying to kiss it and getting her lips stuck to the gift.) In the end, Santa deputizes his former foe as his helper, and together they spread Christmas cheer to all of the good boys and girls.

Created by the always weird Steve Oedekerk (the man behind such "classics" as Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, Bat Thumb, Thumb Wars, et al.), this is a fun little CGI epic. The storyline is pretty weak, even for a half-hour animated short, but luckily the animation is well done (it must have looked amazing when played in 3D at I-MAX theaters) and you can't help but love the nods toward (arguably) the best of the films in the Star Wars saga.

For some reason, a lot of my friends seem to despise this holiday oddity, but even the biggest naysayers grudgingly admit to enjoying the recreated Planet Hoth battle between Santa's and the Snowman's forces. This struggle is the highlight of the film and features some truly hilarious homages to the classic sci-fi epic from 1980, and saves this animated short from being just another forgettable Christmas special.

Why it made the list: Because a snowman that can't talk builds an army and attacks Santa Claus Imperial Snowtrooper-style! This could have been a goofy and generic battle between two holiday icons (the unnamed Snowman is obviously substituting for Frosty the Snowman) but Santa vs. the Snowman takes things up a notch. What starts out as a mere snowball fight quickly turns into a massive battle that ends with a duel between a giant ice monster and a giant fire-breathing nutcracker that is piloted by Santa Claus! Need I say more?

Weirdness Factor: LOW. Since this is a family-friendly short film that is mainly aimed at children (don't worry, there's a few jokes tossed in for us adults), this really isn't too weird, but there's enough of Steve Oedekerk's oddness in this to earn Santa vs. the Snowman the number ten spot on my list.

The next film in the countdown should be familiar to you, especially if you are a fan of MST3K. That leaves two possibilities, so check back very soon to see if your guess is correct. And just in case you're not keeping track: EIGHT DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS!

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