Quickie Review: EVIL DEAD (2013)

Note: The review itself will be relatively SPOILER FREE, however, as you near the bottom of this post, you WILL get into spoiler territory.

I was torn on whether or not to say anything about the new EVIL DEAD because everyone and their mother has already shared their thoughts about it online. But seeing as how I can't seem to get the movie out of my head, or avoid any conversation about it, I figured I might as well share my thoughts too.

Though I'm still a bit torn about it, I mostly liked the new EVIL DEAD. It's an enjoyable modern exploitation flick that truly delivers all the gore, violence, and awesome makeup f/x that was promised by its creators. EVIL DEAD follows five young adults who come to a spooky cabin in the woods so that their friend Mia (Jane Levy) can go cold turkey from her heroine addiction.

Naturally this cabin, abandoned for decades, was the scene of a demon cleansing (as you'll discover in the unnecessary opening of the film, which does at the very least set the tone for the rest of the movie), and a certain Book of the Dead was left behind. The hippie-looking nerd of the group named Eric finds the Necronomicon (now lacking a face on its cover and also now completely fireproof) and recites a passage from it (despite a note on the pages saying DON'T READ IT, DON'T THINK IT, DON'T SAY IT!).

This awakens something in the woods, which zooms through the trees and right into Mia, who experiences the franchise's typical tree rape before turning super creepy and violent. The movie then plays out exactly as you expect it would, with demonic forces taking over each person and making them self-mutilate and kill until someone violently stops them. However, the film throws a few twists at us (some of which I'm having a little trouble coming to terms with), and splashes the screen with blood, guts, and bodily dismemberment in numerous scenes that will make you cringe, laugh, and/or cheer!

As far as remakes go, EVIL DEAD is one of the few that gets the formula right. To me, remakes are a necessary evil in an age where every story has already been told over and over again. The important thing is to not only be true to the original, but to somehow improve upon the source material. (This should be Hollywood's rule on remakes: If they can't significantly improve on an older film, then they shouldn't remake it.) And if you can't improve on it, at the very least make it digestible for modern audiences, while giving some love to the fans of the original. But above all, just make a decent movie!

Sam Raimi's classic THE EVIL DEAD is (as of my writing this) 32 years old now, and was ripe for a redo, and I'm pretty content with the one handed to us by producers Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell. They picked a young cast of relative unknowns, gave an unknown director a shot (Fede Alvarez was basically picked because Raimi loved his short film PANIC ATTACK), and packed the movie with more visceral practical f/x than I could have possibly imagined. (I'm amazed at what made it into the theatrical cut; I cannot WAIT to see the uncut version on Blu-ray later this year!)

And it's the f/x that saves this movie, because otherwise it isn't all that interesting. As it stands, the script for EVIL DEAD is the only real problem with the movie. Some of the dialogue (courtesy of  Diablo Cody I assume) is groan inducing at times, and the characters are all one-dimensional and uninteresting. (And don't give me crap for saying this. An example of a gorefest that has well-written characters is Peter Jackson's DEAD-ALIVE! It is far gorier than EVIL DEAD, but is a solid film that actually gives its main characters a story arc. C'mon, it's basic screenwriting people!) Had it not been for the copious amounts of carnage in the second act of the movie, this would probably be a generic PG-13 demonic possession flick.

While it didn't entirely blow me away, EVIL DEAD is one of the better horror remakes to come out in a long time. If it is a box office success (and I know it will be) that means at least two more sequels, and possibly an Army of Darkness 2 and an Evil Dead 7! So get out there and support this movie horror fans! The gore and grue is totally worth the price of admission, and makes this film worthy of:

THREE AND-A-HALF 'RADS'

Now, there's a few things I'd like to discuss, but it will be HEAVY ON SPOILERS. If you do not want anything ruined for you, stop now and go see the film. If you have seen the movie, or just don't give a damn, then read on. But remember... ye have been warned!

FINAL WARNING! TURN BACK NOW!

Ok, I pretty much liked this movie and I loved the effects and gore but there were a few things I didn't particularly care for.

1.) The opening: A group of people assemble in the basement of the "Evil Dead cabin," to cleanse a young girl of her demonic possessor. For some reason this involves hanging dead cats from the ceiling, torture implements, melty-faced onlookers, and a backwoods swamp-witch glancing through the Necronomicon for tips. It's unnecessary, and feels tacked on, as if someone believed that viewers wouldn't understand why the Book of the Dead was in the cabin or how the whole possession thing worked. Why didn't they just use the stick with some sort of tape-recorder or diary to provide the exposition and set things in motion?

2.) The demons: The Deadites have super creepy eyes now and love to mutilate themselves when they aren't using weapons on their victims. I don't mind that the demonically possessed are using nailguns, machetes, crowbars, etc. to attack the living, but do they have to behave like typical cinematic possession victims and talk dirty like Linda Blair? It's like the filmmakers decided "Hey, our Evil Dead movie could sure use some more Exorcist!"

Also, I'm not sure if I like that contact with a possessed person's bodily fluids leads to characters becoming possessed themselves. Mia is tree-raped, Olivia is puked on, Natalie is bitten, and Eric... well I'm not quite sure. (Perhaps the utility knife in his gut may have had some of Mia's tongue-blood on it?) Demonic possession being transmitted zombie-style totally worked in DEMONS (a.k.a. DEMONI, love that flick!) but it just didn't feel right here.

3.) Mia's resurrection + final showdown with Abomi-Mia (a.k.a. Grudge Gollum): Earlier in the film, we learn that Mia overdosed once, died, and was resuscitated with a defibrillator. Later in the film, David (Mia's brother) creates a homemade defib device, then buries his possessed sister alive, because it was the least horrifying method of ridding a person of a demon, according to the Book of the Dead. When he's positive that she's croaked, he jolts her back to life with a car battery... and she's fine?! She had her face partially scalded off with boiling water, she cut her tongue in half, and she received other punishment as well, and all it did was get her off drugs and give her a great complexion?!

Dave dies after rescuing Mia by exploding himself and possessed-hippie Eric, and according to the Necronomicon, five souls are all that is required for the "Abomination" to take physical shape and rise from the Earth. Well let's do a head count: Dave, Eric, Olivia, and Natalie are all dead... so why does Grudge Gollum burst forth from the ground?! Is it because Mia briefly died (seems like a major technicality to me), or is it because Grandpa the Dog was bludgeoned to death offscreen with a hammer earlier in the film? (As we learned from THE GATE, sacrifices don't always have to be human.) And why does the demon look like Mia? Why couldn't it be an awesome monster like the thing that Ash chainsaws in the face during the climax of Evil Dead II?!

 4.) The after-credits stinger: Thanks to Marvel, it seems like every movie that comes out sneaks in an extra scene after the credits are over, usually to set up the next film, or show you what happens to a main (or secondary) character after an ambiguous ending. Not so the case for Evil Dead. I waited eagerly for the credits to finish up because I was told "there was something super cool after the credits are over!" I expected a special cameo, or maybe a setup to the next film. What I got instead was the dramatic silhouette of Bruce Campbell saying "Groovy." Really? I'm all for fan service, and I love The Chin, but that was just...dumb! And I'm not the only one that had the "YEEEEEAHHHHHH.... wait huh?!" reaction to that ten second clip in the theater. Plenty of folks on the web are scratching their collective heads as well.

Once again, I did like the movie and think it's a good start to a hopefully continuing Evil Dead franchise, and I look forward to both the inevitable sequel, and the uncut DVD/Blu-ray. What do you think though? Am I being too hard on EVIL DEAD, or do you agree with my complaints? Did you love it, hate it, or have misgivings of your own? Then comment below or hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

Evil Dead Memories

With the EVIL DEAD remake just days away, I've been absorbing all the positive and negative discussions about the film on the web. I watch every trailer and TV spot that comes my way (even if I'm watching something I DVR'd) and I just can't help but get psyched out for this new retelling of an old favorite. I've always been a big fan of the Evil Dead series (I own toys, comic books, and various DVD and Blu-ray releases of the films, plus I've seen them all on the big screen in 35mm!) and though I had myself convinced that I was pretty much sick of them (and remakes), I have to admit that I'm becoming a Deadite all over again with the impending release of Fede Alvarez' take on Raimi's horror classic.

Gah! So. Damned. CREEPY!

What's even cooler? Kids that never even knew the original trilogy existed have been checking them out (mostly via NetFlix) and LOVING THEM. It's cool to see today's youth discovering and embracing these classic comedic Horror flicks and listening intently as I share trivia and notify them that there is in fact a third Evil Dead called ARMY OF DARKNESS.


All this Evil Dead talk lately has been making feel quite nostalgic, so I thought I'd type up a quick blog post and share my past with Sam Raimi's beloved horror trilogy. First, let me kick things off with a confession: I saw EVIL DEAD II first! I originally heard about the film decades ago from a relative of mine. I lived a sort of sheltered life and my mother disapproved of me watching any horror films. (Though, oddly enough, JAWS was ok, as was Q: The Winged Serpent, and various other films featuring dinosaurs, dragons, monsters, and sharks.) My cousin Tony on the other hand, though younger than myself, was allowed to watch all the good stuff. He is the reason I even discovered that Evil Dead existed.

One afternoon as I was hanging out with him, and we were talking about various things that pre-teens discuss (cartoons, toys, Nintendo games, boobies, etc.) when he told me about a cool movie where a guy in a cabin fought monsters with a chainsaw and a shotgun. The concept floored me; I had to see it! But there was no internet, video store visits were patrolled by the parents, and I didn't know anyone who owned a copy. Even if I did, the parental units would have shut down my mission to watch anything involving blood, guts, and human dismemberment.

And then, on a fateful day whilst wandering around a Sam's Club (I was 14 going on 15 at the time), I made an awesome discovery: VHS double features on sale for ten bucks! Already a VHS hoarder with a collection of hundreds of alphabetized cassettes, I was drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Upon glancing over the stacks of movies, one double feature in particular immediately caught my eye: EVIL DEAD II and DAY OF THE DEAD! I felt a rush of adrenaline and grabbed the two tapes! I stared wide-eyed at the covers..... I had finally found my cinematic holy grail plus it came with the sequel to Night and Dawn of the Dead! SURELY A GOD, OR EVEN THE GOD HAD SMILED UPON ME! CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH?! CAN I GET AN AMEN?!!

THE HOLY GRAIL OF A YOUNG, ASPIRING HORROR FAN!

I made an instant beeline to my parents, shoved it at them and begged for it. I'm sure in another universe, young Jordan was told "no," and he never got to experience the awesome that was contained on those two VHS tapes. But in this universe, I was given the standard, "OK, but you gotta do yardwork/chores/homework to earn it," and victory was mine! As soon as we got home, I popped some popcorn, grabbed a soda, and ran upstairs to my bedroom with my treasured VHS tapes. Though I was very curious about DAY OF THE DEAD, I knew which film I would be watching first.

I tore off the plastic, shoved EVIL DEAD II into my VCR, and braced myself for terrors beyond my wildest dreams; for one man's brutal survival against supernatural forces. Imagine my surprise when it turns out that the movie was not all that frightening. Still it was cool as hell, and full of glorious gore, gruesome stop-motion animation, impressive makeup f/x, plus  it was really funny too! (The scene with all the laughing furniture put a big dumb grin on my face!) Once I finished it, I rewound the tape, then watched it again! I was enamored with EVIL DEAD II and couldn't get enough of it! I then decreed that the first one would also be mine!

As time passed, I made sure to share this cinematic gem with others when possible, and made sure to talk it up at every chance I got. Eventually, my friends were worn down by my constant praising of the adventures of Ash, and one night I FINALLY got them to watch it. We crowded into the living room of my buddy Mike's house, and popped the tape in. At first everyone was heckling the movie and taking some potshots at it (threats of tugging it from the VCR were also made), but it quickly began to win them over. When the end credits began to roll they agreed that what I had visited upon then was weird, but that they actually really liked it. (Sadly years later, when I tried to introduce them to Army of Darkness, they were not as receptive. THE FOOLS!)

A few short years later, I reached a milestone in my life: My folks purchased a brand new computer just for me, plus they had a second phone line installed! This was doubly awesome because having my own phone line meant that I could connect to that newfangled internet thing that allowed you to download pictures and videos, and tap into the collective knowledge of humanity. (Plus you could play games over the web and look at porn!) This is when I discovered Sgt. Andrew Borntreger's Badmovies.Org. I had never seen anything like it and I eagerly read through the entire site in a few days. Because of Andrew's awesome online hub of b-movie knowledge, I got my first taste of the original Evil Dead and also discovered that there was a third movie: ARMY OF DARKNESS!

More importantly, my discovery of Badmovies.Org inspired me to learn how to build a website from scratch, and share my opinions and movie knowledge with the world. Because of Sgt. Borntreger, The B-Movie Film Vault exists. He was my muse, provided tips and ideas, and was the first major site to link to my chintzy little Geocities b-movie site. As we joke about from time to time: The Vault is the illegitimate child of Badmovies.Org! For that, I thank you immensely Andrew!

In any case (got a little sidetracked there) I eventually started work at a Suncoast (a dying breed of DVD and movie memorabilia stores that was typically overpriced and terribly managed) just before the big DVD boom hit, and that's where I picked up my VHS tape of Army of Darkness! Naturally I loved it, but the original film that started it all still eluded me. Also, since I was working alongside some hardcore horror fans (who also thankfully introduced me to the films of Lucio Fulci, Dario Argento, and Peter Jackson), I learned that Army of Darkness had an alternate ending (i.e. the original ending that test audiences didn't care for), which I would eventually see for myself when I bought Anchor Bay's "Bootleg Edition" of "AoD," not once, but twice!

For the record, I actually prefer the director's cut with the post-apocalyptic ending. As fun as it is to see Ash battling a "she-bitch" in the aisles of S-Mart, I totally dig the original ending where he ends up sleeping too long and exits his burial chamber to discover modern day England in shambles.

HAHAHA! MANUFACTURED PRODUCTS!

And I did eventually get my paws on THE EVIL DEAD (procured rather cheaply on VHS at Wal-Mart of all places) but my young mind processed it as the weakest of the trilogy. Quite frankly... I hated it.

Now before you shout "HERETIC!" and starting lobbing stones (both literal and figurative), bear in mind that I saw the original film LAST. Both Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness had higher budgets, "splatstick" craziness, and a really cool antagonist that was highly quotable. In the original "Evil Dead," things are played straight for the most part, and Ash is not the one-liner spewing bad-ass we've all come to love and know. It was just too much of a slowburn horror film for me, especially after experiencing its two followups.

Skip ahead to recent years and I now have a definite appreciation for the original Evil Dead (though I still prefer Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness). Considering what Raimi and his buddies had to go through to get that movie made (chronicled in IF CHINS COULD KILL by Bruce Campbell, a damned good book that you should own), and the fact that it was released uncut in theaters and still made a nice profit (take that MPAA!), the film's sequels, continuously growing fanbase, and heck, even its very existence is miraculous!

Since discovering Evil Dead II so many years ago, I have accrued a small collection of Evil Dead-related goodies. My current collection includes: The out of print Army of Darkness Boomstick Edition DVD, Evil Dead (2-disc Limited Edition Blu-ray), Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (the beautiful and non-expensive Lionsgate Blu-ray), Evil Dead and Evil Dead II Book of the Dead Editions on DVD (which are slowly rotting away now in a display case), bootlegs of WITHIN THE WOODS (the short film that Raimi shot in order to get funding for Evil Dead), Evil Dead: The Musical, and Army of Darkness: The Musical, an S-Mart Ash figure, a McFarlane Toys Ash and Evil Ash (Series 3 I believe), an Ashley J. Williams tee from Fright-Rags, and finally a small Evil Dead II poster.

I'm not as hardcore as some Deadites, but I think I occupy a comfortable middle ground. Though my collection may be small, I think the fact that I've worn out/upgraded several items in my Evil Dead collection gives me a definite edge over more casual fans. Just for fun, I've included a tally below of how many times I've purchased each movie, how many Evil Dead-related shirts I've worn out, and how many times I've seen each movie on the big screen.

My Evil Dead tallies:
EVIL DEAD - Saw it once theatrically; purchased it 4 times. (VHS tape, Single disc DVD, Book of the Dead Edition DVD, and 2-Disc Limited Edition Blu-ray).

EVIL DEAD II - Saw it once theatrically; purchased it 5 times. (VHS tape, Anchor Bay DVD, Book of the Dead Edition DVD, Anchor Bay Blu-ray, Lionsgate Blu-ray)

ARMY OF DARKNESS - Saw it once theatrically; purchased it 4 times. (VHS tape, Bootleg Edition VHS tape, Bootleg Edition DVD, 2-disc Boomstick Edition DVD) Note: I will be seeing it again on the big screen on June 8th at the Hudson Horror Show!

Evil Dead shirts worn out: 2. I wore my THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK! and my HAIL TO THE KING BABY! tees so often that the graphics were nearly worn off, and each one was full of holes. Even though they were basically rags when I finally threw them out, it pained me to do it.


So how big is your Evil Dead collection? How many times have you seen the movies? How many times have you bought them? What's your most prized Evil Dead collectible? Have you met Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, or Sam Raimi? Are you stoked for the new EVIL DEAD?! Do you think Raimi and The Chin will actually go through with a second Army of Darkness?! Share your thoughts below or over on Facebook or Twitter!

By the way, EVIL DEAD premieres tomorrow night at 10 PM at most theaters. Get your tickets online or get there early because I think this movie is going to rock the box office!