Jokes

Lady: Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes I do.

Lady: How many packs a day?

Guy: 3 packs.

Lady: How much per pack?

Guy: $10.00 per pack.

Lady: And how long have you been smoking?

Guy: 15 years

Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?

Guy: Correct.

Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?

Guy: Correct.

Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?

Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?

Lady: No.

Guy: Then where's your fucking Ferrari? 

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18 Yrs Old Boy :- Will U Be My Girlfriend?

18 Yrs Old Girl :- Get Lost! No!

5 Yrs Old Boy :- Will U Be My Girlfriend?

18 Yrs Old Girl :- OMG! U R So Cute,  Yes, Yes, I Will! .

Hey Bhagwan Ye Kaisi Leela Hai Tumhari...

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A Man goes to Five Star Hotel....

Man :- “One Vodka Price”

Waiter :- “Rs. 5/- Sir” 

Man :- What Only Rs. 5/ ?? 

Can I Also Have One Pizza Please" ??

Waiter :- “Rs. 7/- Sir” 

Man :- “Wow That’s Really Cheap, Can I Meet The Owner of this Hotel” ?? 

Waiter :- “No Sir, He’s Busy With My Girlfriend” !!!! 

Man :- “What’s He Doing With Your Girlfriend” ???? 

Waiter :- “The Same Thing That I’m Doing To His Business Here“ !!!! 

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A woman went for fishing. She enjoyed boating & got tired. She sat, kept her things & started reading a book.

Policeman came, said: Maam u r in "NO" fishing Zone.

She said: "I am reading not fishing."

Policeman said: "But u have all equipment & u might start anytime."

Woman shouted: "Im not fishing here. Now u r sexually harrassing me."

Policeman said: "I am not doing anything!"

She smiled: "Thats it! You have all equipment & might start anytime!"

Moral : Never Argue with a Woman

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An Engineer having no child, no money, no home, blind mother, prays to God...

God says he will grant him ONE wish!

Engineer:" I want my mother to see my wife putting diamond bangles on my child's hands,in our new bungalow!

God:" Damn! I still have a lot to learn from these Engineers...

2 Ladkia Aapas Me Lad Rahi Thi To Paas Me Se ek Sharabi Guzra,,

1st Girl:" Ye sharaabi Teri Bf hai

2nd:" Nahi Teri BF hai

1st:" Teri

2nd:" Teri

Sharaabhi:" Mai Ruku Ya Jaau ?? 

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Girl's status :

"Got NEW laptop TODAY....... A LOT HAPPY...."

Comments:

1) Congo dear

2) Wow . . lovely

3) Handle wid care

4) Congrats....Etc.

Boy's Status :

"GOT NEW laptop TODAY A LOT HAPPY..."

Comments :

1) Salle teri itni aukat kaha Second hand hoga.

2) Rehne de be juthe,

3) lolypop lene k paise hai kanglay...??

4) 100% chori ka hoga...

5) abe chalana b aata h....??? :p

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Ek Bhulakaad baar baar apna computer ka password bhool jata tha. Ek din usne socha main apna computer ka password kya rakhu jo kabhi na bhooloon...

Usne password rakha ''INCORRECT''

Ab jab bhi woh galat password enter karta hai, computer khud usey bata deta hai "Your password is incorrect''...

Bhulakaad rocked...

Computer shocked...